My Brief Stay in the Life and Time of Gasparo

In my reflection of my time in the life of an adjunct professor, I can’t help but wonder when Professor Paul Gasparo will start handing out 10-gauge shotguns so that we may end it all ourselves. I feel that a revolver would be just too easy of an escape, and only a shot gun would be equal to the pain that we have suffered. The buck shot casing should have a pellet for every word that been spilled on paper or blog, so 3500 should do.

Now as to the question as to whether or not I would recommend this class to any of the people I have as loved ones, people in my inner circle, colleagues, acquaintances, people I pass in the corridors in the admissions building with the blank stares as they search for classes, or just anybody in general, well that would depend. I would have to set rules first. First we need to figure out who our audience is and separate them into two categories. The first category would be people who we would recommend this class to. The second category would be people we would not recommend this class to. Let’s start with the first group. The people that I would recommend this class to would be people who are well adjusted and don’t mind being yelled at because you just asked a question. The other type of person I would recommend this class to is someone who asks questions and has no regard as to what the outcome may be. The other type of person would be an alpha male or female. I would lastly recommend this class to someone who is a brainiac and is great in the English language because he or she just needs to be brought down a peg or two. Now, for the people I would not recommend this class to is the following: people who aren’t great in English, someone who is working 50 to 60 hours a week, someone who is married with children, someone who has a full class load, anyone with a GPA below 3.5, someone who is allergic to peanuts or any food in general, or anyone who likes to ask questions. I want to clarify that someone who likes to ask questions is different than someone that asks questions and doesn’t care of the outcome. Simply the first one finds it enjoyable and the latter doesn’t care.

If you do decide to join Professor Gasparo for the first time or even a second time despite all the warnings, you’ll have the pleasure of being scathed and belittled in the form of the Outline that’s handed to you at the beginning of class, or as I like to call it “The Syllabus from Hell.” There will be times that you enjoy this class (medicated) and he’ll be very pliable and you’ll actually learn. Then there’ll be times where you will wish you were at home struck with a bout of the bubonic plague (not medicated) instead of in class trying to get all the material so that you don’t dare ask a question and possibly have your head chopped clear off with a New Yorker’s words. Don’t get me wrong it’s not going to be all the time. Some of the assignments are going to be fun. Then he’ll do something that’s mentally challenged like require five hyperlinks on this blog entry.

In closing, you can only blame yourself when at the end of your English 111 or English 112 class you are disoriented, tired, and mad like I am today. This is my warning to you, the future pupil of Professor Paul Gasparo.

Jennings, S. "Mood Chart." Photo. www.seasonalmooddisorder365.com. 25 Feb. 2009. 08 Dec. 2009. <http://www.seasonalmooddisorder365.com/labels/mood%20charts%20bipolar%20disorder.html>